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LD's Funnies!!!

Things Mom Would Never Say

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

"Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"

"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"

"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"

"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

"I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"

"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

__________________
Smilies
'Smilies' are small graphical images that can be used to convey an emotion or feeling. If you have used email or internet chat, you are likely familiar with the smilie concept. Certain standard strings are automatically converted into smilies. Try twisting your head on one side if you do not 'get' smilies; using a bit of imagination should reveal a face of some description.

If you want to disable smilies in a post that you make, you can select the 'Disable Smilies' option when posting. This is particularly useful if you are posting program code and you do not want ;) converted to a smilie face!

Standard Smilies
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:sillywave silly wave silly wave
:arrow: Arrow Arrow
:dp: Drunk Pirate Drunk Pirate
:black: Black Black
:ghost2: Ghost 2 Ghost 2
:knights: Knights Knights
:grey_zzzz grey zzzz grey zzzz
:rolleyes: angel angel
:female: female female
:puppy: puppy puppy
:smirk: Smirk Smirk
:eat: eat eat
:redargue: Argue Argue
:frown2: Frown Frown
:frown_4: Frown Frown
:gift: Present Present
:frog1: Frog 1 Frog 1
:lurk: Lurking Lurking
:blue_2_vr cry cry
:silly: Silly Silly
:shock3: Shock 3 Shock 3
:) Smilie Smilie
:confused3 Confused 3 Confused 3
:ha: Ha Ha
:nya: nya nya nya nya
:oops: Embarassed Embarassed
:sleepy: sleepy sleepy
:tup2: Thumbs Up 2 Thumbs Up 2
:idea: Idea Idea
:laughing: Laughing Laughing
:goof: Goof Goof
:orderinth Order Order
:umm: Ummmm Ummmm
:blue_zzzz blue zzzz blue zzzz
:devil: Devil Devil
:sleigh: Sleigh Sleigh
:male: male male
:skin: Skin Skin
:buzz: Sugar High Sugar High
:sing2: sing sing
:reel: reel reel
:angel4: angel angel
:cup: Cup Cup
:green_inn innocent innocent
:jcool: Joe cool Joe cool
:love4: Love4 Love4
:rosie: rosie rosie
:D Very Happy Very Happy
:bonk: Bonk Bonk
:asl: ASL ASL
:-P Razz Razz
:rofl2: ROFL 2 ROFL 2
:laugh: Laugh Laugh
:angry_fir ANGRY ANGRY
:?: Question Question
:ha1: Ha!!!! Ha!!!!
:snarl: Snarl Snarl
:thinkin: Thinkin Thinkin
:suprise: Suprise Suprise
:ring: Ring Ring
:mooner: Mooner Mooner
:confused2 Confused Confused
:star: star star
:smile_4: Smilie Smilie
:camera: Camera Camera
:SHOCK: SHOCK SHOCK
:teeth2: Teeth Teeth
:blush: Blush Blush
:coach: Coach Coach
:roll" roll roll
:hurry: Hurry Hurry
:violin: violin violin
:x Mad Mad
:cof4: Coffee4 Coffee4
:fish: Fish Fish
:!: Exclamation Exclamation
:faint: Faint Faint
:yawn2: Yawn 2 Yawn 2
:exclaim: Exclaim Exclaim
:bluezzz: blue zzzz blue zzzz
:fine_prin Fine Print Fine Print
:heart: heart heart
:snoopy: Snoopy Snoopy
:tempting: Tempted Tempted
:purplejaw jawdrop jawdrop
:laugh_spi laugh spit laugh spit
:frown: Frown Frown
:pissed: Pi$$ed Pi$$ed
:bow: bow bow
:Angel: Angel Angel
:att: Attention! Attention!
:smile2: Smilie Smilie
:mail: mail mail
:idea: Idea Idea
:ymca: YMCA YMCA
;poke: poke poke
:arrow2: arrow arrow
:rface: Red Face Red Face
:rofl: rofl rofl
:yeti: Yeti Yeti
:big_smile big smile tounge big smile tounge
:lol: Laughing Laughing
:cof3: Coffee3 Coffee3
:bighat: Big Hat Big Hat
:green_pat green patch green patch
;) Wink Wink
:owned: Owned Owned
:santa: Santa Santa
:purple-cr purple cry purple cry
:thmbdwn: Thumbs down Thumbs down
:cursor: Cursor Cursor
:IGNORE: ignore ignore
:yellowsle Sleep Sleep
:smile_rol roll smile roll smile
:bgrin: Big Grin Big Grin
:crysmiley crysmiley crysmiley
:tounge2: Tounge Tounge
:rose: Rose Rose
:phone Phone Phone
:green_puk puke puke
:jerker: Jerk It Jerk It
:agree: Agree Agree
:scratch: scratch scratch
:mnote: Music Note Music Note
:why: Why? Why?
:evil2: Evil 2 Evil 2
:big_coffe big coffee big coffee
:baaa: baaa baaa
:love5: Love5 Love5
8) Cool Cool
:cof2: Coffee2 Coffee2
:wink: Wink Wink
:ohsnap: OhSnap OhSnap
:warn: Warn Warn
:clap: applause applause
:thmbup: Thumbs up Thumbs up
:welcome: Welcome Welcome
:claw: Claw Claw
:grrr: Grrrr Grrrr
:pimpin: Pimp Daddy Pimp Daddy
:green_coo Cool breeze Cool breeze
:snap: Snapshot Snapshot
:sperm: sperm sperm
:smile2: Smilie Smilie
:pacman: Pacman Pacman
:bandito: Bandito Bandito
:knight: knight knight
:wink2: Wink Wink
:rhug: Hug from right Hug from right
:rbow: Rainbow Rainbow
:blinky2: Blinky 2 Blinky 2
:confused3 Confused Confused
:blinky: blinky blinky
:srose: small rose small rose
:curse: curse curse
:word: Word Word
:confused: Confused Confused
:? Confused Confused
:NoNo: No No No No
:roll: Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
:groucho: Groucho Groucho
:surf: Surf Surf
:change: Change Change
:gimme: Gimme Gimme
:grump: grump grump
:bowl: Bowl Bowl
:cruisin: Cruisin Cruisin
:thumbs_up Thumbs Up Thumbs Up
:lhug: Hug from Left Hug from Left
:hcuff: handcuff handcuff
:switch: Switch Switch
:furious: furious furious
:baby: Baby Baby
:cool2: Cool Cool
:lips: red Lips red Lips
:locked: Locked Locked
:wizard: wizard wizard
:cbaby: Cray Baby Cray Baby
:shock: Shocked Shocked
:wootd: Woot Dance Woot Dance
:kingtut: Egypt Egypt
:twisted: Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
:jig1: Jig 1 Jig 1
:grim: Grim Grim
:weights: weights weights
:rofl3: ROFL 3 ROFL 3
:msn" msn msn
:overlord: Overlord Overlord
:scared2: Scared 2 Scared 2
:thumbs_do Thumbs down Thumbs down
:sun: sun sun
:stooges: Stooges Stooges
:shock2: shock shock
:clock: Clock Clock
:zoomsm: Zoom Smiley Zoom Smiley
:shocker: The Shocker The Shocker
:hearts: hearts hearts
:wink: Wink Wink
:0 Surprised Surprised
:ndence: Naughty Dance Naughty Dance
:purple_co purple confused purple confused
:evil: Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad
:ranting: Ranting Ranting
:blah_blah blah blah blah blah
:| Neutral Neutral
:rotlmfao: ROTLMFAO ROTLMFAO
:blink2: Blink 2 Blink 2
:brkheart: broken heart broken heart
:mean: Mean Mean
:speaker: speaker speaker
:moon: Moon Moon
:spawn: Spawn Spawn
:usuck: You Suck You Suck
:sad2: sad sad
:blush3: blush blush
:xmas: Cake Cake
:king: The King The King
:drool: Drool Drool
:wolf_smil Smilie Smilie
:ohno: Oh no Oh no
:( Sad Sad
:grindance Grin Dance Grin Dance
:rollsmile Roll smile Roll smile
:cry: Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
:drool1: Drool 1 Drool 1
:doctor: Doctor Doctor
:read: Read Read
:boo: Boo Boo
:beer3: Beer 3 Beer 3
:fro: Fro Fro
:whistle: whistle whistle
:pop: Pop Pop
Business Smilies
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:yellowbul Yellow Bullet Yellow Bullet
:aquabulle Aqua Bullet Aqua Bullet
:purplebul Purple Bullet Purple Bullet
:blackbull Black Bullet Black Bullet
:redbullet Red Bullet Red Bullet
:greenbull Green Bullet Green Bullet
:ball: Ball Ball
:censored: Doghouse Doghouse
:iflash: iconflash iconflash
Mechanical Devices
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:car6: Car 6 Car 6
:laserblas Laser blast Laser blast
:4x4: 4x 4x
:car4: Another car Another car
:cops1: Cops1 Cops1
:gears: Gears Gears
:boat2: Boat II Boat II
:car: car car
:tank: Tank Tank
:tomcat2: Tomcat2 Tomcat2
:tomcat: Tomcat Tomcat
:dragster: Dragster Dragster
:moto: Motorcycle 1 Motorcycle 1
:copcar: Cop Cop
:boat3: Boat 3 Boat 3
:motor: Motor Motor
Frustration
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:user: Wolfen Wolfen
:destroy: Destroy Destroy
:slam: Brick Wall Brick Wall
:throw: Throw it Throw it
Mayhem
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:dspank Donkeyspank Donkeyspank
:minigun: Minigun Minigun
:runover: Run Over Run Over
:vampire: vampire vampire
:nuts: NUTKICK NUTKICK
:beatonhea Beat on head Beat on head
:matrix2: Matrix2 Matrix2
:pow: Pow Pow
:007: 007 007
:die_now: die die
:2gun: 2 Guns 2 Guns
:flame2: Flame 2 Flame 2
:luke: star wars star wars
:saw: Chainsaw Chainsaw
:rocket: Rocket Rocket
:burst: Burst Burst
:punch: Punch Punch
:jaws: Jaws Jaws
:PC_thief: PC_thief PC_thief
:bd: BD BD
:chase_axe chase chase
:fight2: Fight 2 Fight 2
:farting: farting farting
:hang: Hang Hang
:spank: Spank me Spank me
:chair: Chair Beating Chair Beating
:pirate: pirate pirate
:phasers: phasers phasers
:max: Max Max
:fart: fart fart
:guillotin guillotine guillotine
:teeth: Teeth Teeth
:mgun: M Gunner 2 M Gunner 2
:nuke: nuke nuke
:blastem: Cannon Cannon
:laser: Laser Laser
:fart_3: fart 3 fart 3
:whip: Whip Whip
:gunslinge gun slinger gun slinger
:twak: Twak Twak
;kill: kill kill
:snipe2: Sniper 2 Sniper 2
:duel: Dueling Dueling
:kill2: Kill 2 Kill 2
:snipe: Snipe Snipe
:flame: Flame Flame
:fall: Fall Fall
:largeaxe: Large AXE Large AXE
:mater: Tomato Tomato
:exploding explode explode
:grab: Grab Grab
:chaseaxe: Chase axe Chase axe
:saw2: Saw 2 Saw 2
Party Smilies
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:redspot: Spot Spot
:jump_clap Jump Clap Jump Clap
:nanajam: Banana jam Banana jam
:happy_b-d Happy B-day Happy B-day
:headbange headbanger headbanger
:dj: dj dj
:orangevom vomit vomit
:bang3: Banger 3 Banger 3
:bluebange Blue Banger Blue Banger
:drinkofbe drinkofbeer drinkofbeer
:party2: Party 2 Party 2
"puke: puke puke
:guitar: guitar guitar
:drink: drink drink
:dance: dance dance
:reindeer: Reindeer Reindeer
:metalhead metal head metal head
:mj: Micaheal Micaheal
:rockband: rockband rockband
:mohawk: Mohawk Mohawk
:biggrin: Big Grin Big Grin
:belch: belch belch
:goofy_san goofy santa goofy santa
:drunk: DRUNK DRUNK
:party" party party
:band: band band
:jig2: Jig 2 Jig 2
:ballet: ballet ballet
:wee: yehaw yehaw
:group: Group Group
:beer_3: beer beer
:xmasman: XmasMan XmasMan
:yellowspo yellow spot yellow spot
:cocktail: cocktail cocktail
:dunce; dunce dunce
:2drunks: 2 Drunks 2 Drunks
:juggle: Juggle Juggle
:redspotwa walk spot walk spot
:vomit_on_ Vomit on friend Vomit on friend
:beer: beer beer
:guitar2: Guitar 2 Guitar 2
:jack: Jack Jack
:cheeers: Cheers Cheers
Aliens
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:martian: Martian Martian
:abduct: Abduct Abduct
:beammeup: Abduction Abduction
:ufo: ufo ufo
:alien2: Alien2 Alien2
:alien3: Alien 3 Alien 3
:alien1: Alien1 Alien1
Animals
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:mfight: Monkey fight Monkey fight
:bat: bat bat
:dpipe: Dragonpipe Dragonpipe
:yeehaw: Hyaww Mule Hyaww Mule
:mdance: Monkey Dance Monkey Dance
:dwave: Dragon Wave Dragon Wave
:goat: Goat Goat
:fish3: Fish 3 Fish 3
:cat: Cat Cat
:zzzzzz: Counting Sheep Counting Sheep
:bat_3: bat bat
Mr. Green
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:smooch: Baaaaaby! Baaaaaby!
:spider: Spider Spider
:jump_bunc jump jump
:greensant Green santa Green santa
:grinwink: Grin Wink Grin Wink
:looking: Looking Looking
:green_bou bouncy bouncy
:singers2: fingers fingers
:roftlmao: ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAO
:green_thu Green Thumb Green Thumb
:pile: Pile Pile
:big_grin2 Big Grin Big Grin
:tan: SunTan SunTan
:green_cry Green cry Green cry
:mrgreen: Mr. Green Mr. Green
:greenguyf greenguy greenguy
:matrix: Matrix Matrix
:grncool: Green Cool Green Cool
:blah: blah blah
:toothless toothless toothless
Balls
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:odd: Odd Odd
:red_bounc red bounce red bounce
:redbounce redbounce redbounce
:purle_2_b bouncy bouncy
:fire_boun fire bounce fire bounce
:idea2: Idea Idea
:thewave: The Wave: The Wave:
:m_c_bounc multi color bounce multi color bounce
:blibk2: Burn 2 Burn 2
:happyball Happy Ball Happy Ball
:mirror_bo mirror bounce mirror bounce
:bounce8: Bounce 8 Bounce 8
Symbols
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:psign: Peace Sign Peace Sign
:shamrock: Shamrock Shamrock
:eagle2: Eagle 2 Eagle 2
:eagle: Eagle Eagle
:skull: Skull Skull
:yinyang: Yin Yang Yin Yang
:trek: Trek Trek
Signs
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:pics: Pics Pics
:LOL: LOL LOL
:withstupi I am with stupid I am with stupid
:givebeer: Give Beer Give Beer
:roflmao2: ROFLMAO 2 ROFLMAO 2
:gp: Good Post Good Post
:zmoz: Zmoz Zmoz
:biteme: Bite me Bite me
:woohoo: Woohooo Woohooo
:huh3: huh huh
:lickme: Lick Me Lick Me
:bye: BYE! BYE!
:search: Search Search
:anothersm Misc Misc
:uthere: U There U There
:coolman: Cool Man Cool Man
:wazzzzup: wazzzzup wazzzzup
:yomama: I'm with your mom I'm with your mom
:goodluck: Good Luck Good Luck
:rockon: Rock On Rock On
:nowork: No Workie No Workie
Devils
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:devil_ide Devil Idea Devil Idea
:devil_fla devil flames devil flames
:devilfing Devil finger Devil finger
:devil_fin Devil fingers Devil fingers
:dev: devil devil
:devil_cry Devil cry Devil cry
:devil_shy Devil shy Devil shy
:devilwink devil wink devil wink
:devil3: devil3 devil3
:devil_tai Devil tail Devil tail
:devil_vom Devil vomit Devil vomit
:devil_sho devil shock devil shock
:devilsnea devil sneaky devil sneaky
:devil_smi devil smoke devil smoke
:devil_lau devil laugh devil laugh
Female :D
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:cheer2: Cheer 2 Cheer 2
:p2: Pirate Girl Pirate Girl
:cheer: Cheer Cheer
:woman2: Woman 2 Woman 2
Misc.
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
;redeyesgr redeye redeye
:chef: chef chef
:toilet: toilet toilet
:jumprope: jumprope jumprope
:lick_lips Mmmmm Mmmmm
:eye: eye eye
:Smiles_Bl Smiles_Blue_smiley2_prv Smiles_Blue_smiley2_prv
:run2: Run 2 Run 2
:plasma: Plasma Ball Plasma Ball
:fire: Fire Fire
:chain: Chain Chain
:globe1: Globe1 Globe1
angel_4: angel angel
:marvin: Marvin Marvin
:globe3: Globe 3 Globe 3
:iwojima: Iwo Jima Iwo Jima
:flames2: flames flames
:native: native native
:bugeye: Bug Eye Bug Eye
:jokeryell joker joker
:fuzzy: Fuzzy Fuzzy
"block_hea square square
:wired: Wired Wired
:popcorn: popcorn popcorn
:newbie: newbie newbie
:bartinato Bartinator Bartinator
:movineye: Movineye Movineye
:goofather Dunce2 Dunce2
:not_sure: Not sure Not sure
:d_vadar: darth darth
:burger: Burger Burger
:flyer: flyer flyer
:spam: Spam Spam
:addpics: PICS! PICS!
:cookie: Cookie Monster Cookie Monster
:macarena: Macarena Macarena
:rant: soap box soap box
:worry: Worry Worry
:calvin: Calvin Calvin
:happyhack Happy hacker Happy hacker
:dragon: Dragon Dragon
:welder: Welder Welder
:electric: Electric Electric
:kishug: Kishug Kishug
:cof1: Coffee 1 Coffee 1
:lone_rang lone ranger lone ranger
:purplebea beady eyes beady eyes
:goofy: Goofy Goofy
:rainbow: rainbow rainbow
:pimpdaddy pimp pimp
:light_smo light smoke light smoke
:static: Static Static
:tredmill: tred mill tred mill
:whack: whack whack
:kaioken: kaioken kaioken
:flowers: flowers flowers
:big3: BIG 3 BIG 3
:stupid2: Stupid 2 Stupid 2
:radioacti radioactive radioactive
:vlam: Vlam Vlam
:smile5: Smile 5 Smile 5
:snowman: snowman snowman
:goofy_fac goofy face goofy face
:jumpy: jumpy jumpy
:spiderman Spiderman Spiderman
:flame: flame flame
:scared: Scared Scared
:quiteevil quiteevil quiteevil
:globe2: Globe2 Globe2
:spin2: Spin2 Spin2
:waa: Waaaaaah Waaaaaah
Characters
What to Type Resulting Graphic Meaning
:doom: Doom Doom
:rrunner: Road Runner Road Runner
:homer: Homer Homer
:kilroy: kilroy kilroy
:stewie: Stewie Stewie
:ghost: Ghost Ghost

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